3.26.99
I'm opting for minty green now. After all, change is the only true evidence of life, right? Suure....
Right now, we're downloading IE5, leaving me with a mere 2 hours to complete this transaction and get out. Seems like forever, but to try and recount what happened in Hilo will take a little more than that. I talked, talked, and talked some more. Poor old Derrick must think that I am an absolute psycho. Both nights of my Hilo stay were spent with him, parked out at Onomea (which is one of the most beautiful places in the known universe) talking about everything. In all, it was quite therapeutic, but like I said, he has to think that anyone who would open up in the way that I did must be positively certifiable.
I probably am, so that's all right, nes pas?
I told Derrick that he scared me, and for a very good reason. He gave me an incredulous look and took a long drag off his cigarette. "How could I possibly scare you?" he inquired.
I told him... First, he knows me better than RR knows me, and in fact, I think better than I know myself. That fact, above all, is most unsettling. Every now and then, he pauses in conversation and comes up with an unsurprising revelation in my life, which can only make me scratch my head and wonder how. He's also too much like my soulmate. Our minds frequently work in tandem, which is a rare thing, I think. He told me at one point that my mind was very noisy, and that he could actually hear what I was thinking.
In all, I have to call it very unsettling. I mean how in the fuck can he know exactly what I am thinking when I am thinking it? It's almost like a parlour game from hell. Call it reincarnation or whatever you choose, but at some point in our past, this youngman and I must have shared a psyche or two. That's okay. He's like a brother that I never had...a brother with psychic ability.
You know, Hilo is really a fucking incredible town. (Can you count how many times I use the word fuck in this entry? Fuckin' A, man!) Hilo, in a lot of ways very closely resembles my own humble Twin Falls, Idaho where I was reared. Everybody knows everybody else. I could hardly mention a name without Derrick telling me a nice juicy story about their last meeting. On one hand, that kind of familiarity is quite pleasant, but then again, it can be overwhelming. With that kind of recognition comes a form of paranoia.
Generally, I think that paranoias are not very well founded, but the small town "Somebody's gonna see me if I do something naughty" can be overwhelming, I guess. I long ago handed the big details over to the "Omniomni," so I could care less what the mere mortals think, but I need to occasionally remember that some have to deal with the funny ideas of others. If you know me well, you are abundantly aware of the fact that I will most likely embrace you and kiss your cheek lightly when we meet or part. You think I care what the rest of the world thinks? Naah. Wanna call me a fag? I'll comment on your ability to recognize such fine details.
At 2:30 in the morning, in a dark parking lot in the front of the Naniloa Hotel in Hilo, when I decided that I knew Derrick well enough to say goodnight with a hug, he pulled away, and said "Remember, you are in Hilo." I smiled and walked away. When I got a few paces apart, I turned as he said, "I really had a great time tonight." Yeah, Derrick...I had a great time, too. Probably more than you'll ever know. I might call him this weekend and ask him if he thinks I'm a total psycho.
Only because I am enough of a psycho to do so.
Right now, we're downloading IE5, leaving me with a mere 2 hours to complete this transaction and get out. Seems like forever, but to try and recount what happened in Hilo will take a little more than that. I talked, talked, and talked some more. Poor old Derrick must think that I am an absolute psycho. Both nights of my Hilo stay were spent with him, parked out at Onomea (which is one of the most beautiful places in the known universe) talking about everything. In all, it was quite therapeutic, but like I said, he has to think that anyone who would open up in the way that I did must be positively certifiable.
I probably am, so that's all right, nes pas?
I told Derrick that he scared me, and for a very good reason. He gave me an incredulous look and took a long drag off his cigarette. "How could I possibly scare you?" he inquired.
I told him... First, he knows me better than RR knows me, and in fact, I think better than I know myself. That fact, above all, is most unsettling. Every now and then, he pauses in conversation and comes up with an unsurprising revelation in my life, which can only make me scratch my head and wonder how. He's also too much like my soulmate. Our minds frequently work in tandem, which is a rare thing, I think. He told me at one point that my mind was very noisy, and that he could actually hear what I was thinking.
In all, I have to call it very unsettling. I mean how in the fuck can he know exactly what I am thinking when I am thinking it? It's almost like a parlour game from hell. Call it reincarnation or whatever you choose, but at some point in our past, this youngman and I must have shared a psyche or two. That's okay. He's like a brother that I never had...a brother with psychic ability.
You know, Hilo is really a fucking incredible town. (Can you count how many times I use the word fuck in this entry? Fuckin' A, man!) Hilo, in a lot of ways very closely resembles my own humble Twin Falls, Idaho where I was reared. Everybody knows everybody else. I could hardly mention a name without Derrick telling me a nice juicy story about their last meeting. On one hand, that kind of familiarity is quite pleasant, but then again, it can be overwhelming. With that kind of recognition comes a form of paranoia.
Generally, I think that paranoias are not very well founded, but the small town "Somebody's gonna see me if I do something naughty" can be overwhelming, I guess. I long ago handed the big details over to the "Omniomni," so I could care less what the mere mortals think, but I need to occasionally remember that some have to deal with the funny ideas of others. If you know me well, you are abundantly aware of the fact that I will most likely embrace you and kiss your cheek lightly when we meet or part. You think I care what the rest of the world thinks? Naah. Wanna call me a fag? I'll comment on your ability to recognize such fine details.
At 2:30 in the morning, in a dark parking lot in the front of the Naniloa Hotel in Hilo, when I decided that I knew Derrick well enough to say goodnight with a hug, he pulled away, and said "Remember, you are in Hilo." I smiled and walked away. When I got a few paces apart, I turned as he said, "I really had a great time tonight." Yeah, Derrick...I had a great time, too. Probably more than you'll ever know. I might call him this weekend and ask him if he thinks I'm a total psycho.
Only because I am enough of a psycho to do so.
<< Home