12.12.98
The Corruption of Bob
Okay, folks, cope with me for a second, here. I'm going to tell you ONE story about the trip to Maui, and nothing more. I'm not going to discuss the woman with the pendulous breasts or the trips to the brassiere shop.
You see, I have a buddy that I travel often with on these NI (neighbour Island) jaunts. I've mentioned him before, so you know something of the history of Todd and I. He's a good soul, and he and I have bonded closely. In fact, he is probably my closest gay friend. When we travel, all sorts of things come out, and get hashed over. It's always important to have a third opinion in matters of the heart. Furthermore, it is important to have a friend IRT that you can bitch to whenever you feel like it. He provides this service to me, for which I am eternally grateful.
Todd came up with a great idea. We should visit a nude beach. "eh, why not?" It turned out that one of our days on Maui ended in the mid afternoon, and we would have the opportunity to go off and see what there was to see. After all was packed up, and appropriate lies were made to those who cared about our whereabouts, we drove down the awfully long road to Makena state park. It's a pleasant drive past luxury hotels and through a dry area which has remained basically untouched. As such, there are original growth keawe trees which are quite magnificent. (I like trees, so I got off on it.) Eventually, we came upon something called "Big Beach." Quite a lovely crescent of white, clean coral sand. Not too many people, which made it just perfect. However, this was not our quest. We were off to "Little Beach" Quite clever names, eh wot? That's what they're called, though.
At the far end of Big Beach, there is a flow of lava that creates what appears to be a solid wall of black rock that extends into the ocean. Todd made tracks for that berm. I followed (actually, I led. He has this habit of being about three paces behind me whenever we go anywhere. I think he's checking out my ass.) You can't see it unless you are standing directly in front of it, but there is this crack in the rock, with a very rough and rugged trail leading through it, which effectively filters out fat old men (!!!!) We climbed. it was blessedly short, yet vertical. At the top, we passed a pair of exceedingly handsome shirtless youngmen, and my friend, promptly became one of the great shirtless. Todd spends a great deal of time at the gym, and I do not, thus the reason I remained fully clothed. Todd also dashed off into the bushes to go look at some dick. My sights were focused on something else, which I never expected.
Little beach is a cute, and quite secluded little time warp. On Little Beach, all who wish to be are magically transported to 1968, and that was the sight that greeted me at the top of that flow of lava. Picture if you will, an aging baby boomer man, grey hair maintained in some fashion by a red bandanna, standing in the surf with a guitar, bare ass naked. "His Chick" was frolicking in the water making some kind of fertility dance. I just had to stare for a while. Nudity doesn't bother me, it never has, really. I'm somewhat of an extrovert in that matter. I'm also prude enough to know when it is appropriate to remain clothed. This nude beach was an appropriate time.... I CHARGED across the short beach, and past all of the butt nekkid people sitting praying to the sun god (yes, they were) and through the several people who were deeply into the act of meditation. There were several attractive guys in shorts, and I looked at them instead. Something told me to go on, though, and so I did.
As abruptly as it begins, Little Beach ends with another flow of lava. This one is more flat and more easily navigated, and so I did, and was amply rewarded. The rocks became more broken up, and more unpassable as I continued, but as Mr. Frost sez, it was the road less travelled, and it made all the difference. I came across a spit of land, which was just amazing. There are only a few times when I've had the sensation that I was the first person to see a sight, and this was one of them. My perseverance was rewarded with a stunning view of a protected cove, violent waves trying to take it down. and millions of a tasty little shellfish called Opihi. In tidal pools, there were beautiful, large heads of coral that anyone could have just kicked off and taken home with them. I was there, all alone, and I loved it. I watched the sun set over Lanai (you can see the islands of Molokini, Kahoolawe, Lanai, and Molokai from this vantage) and rested a bit before heading back. I met T., who had not seen what he had wanted to see, but I was happy, for I had. :))
I've also been to Kinkos and played with their scanners there. Soon, dears, you will have pictures of Moi. So lucky? Time escapes me at present, so you'll have to wait a bit.
Okay, folks, cope with me for a second, here. I'm going to tell you ONE story about the trip to Maui, and nothing more. I'm not going to discuss the woman with the pendulous breasts or the trips to the brassiere shop.
You see, I have a buddy that I travel often with on these NI (neighbour Island) jaunts. I've mentioned him before, so you know something of the history of Todd and I. He's a good soul, and he and I have bonded closely. In fact, he is probably my closest gay friend. When we travel, all sorts of things come out, and get hashed over. It's always important to have a third opinion in matters of the heart. Furthermore, it is important to have a friend IRT that you can bitch to whenever you feel like it. He provides this service to me, for which I am eternally grateful.
Todd came up with a great idea. We should visit a nude beach. "eh, why not?" It turned out that one of our days on Maui ended in the mid afternoon, and we would have the opportunity to go off and see what there was to see. After all was packed up, and appropriate lies were made to those who cared about our whereabouts, we drove down the awfully long road to Makena state park. It's a pleasant drive past luxury hotels and through a dry area which has remained basically untouched. As such, there are original growth keawe trees which are quite magnificent. (I like trees, so I got off on it.) Eventually, we came upon something called "Big Beach." Quite a lovely crescent of white, clean coral sand. Not too many people, which made it just perfect. However, this was not our quest. We were off to "Little Beach" Quite clever names, eh wot? That's what they're called, though.
At the far end of Big Beach, there is a flow of lava that creates what appears to be a solid wall of black rock that extends into the ocean. Todd made tracks for that berm. I followed (actually, I led. He has this habit of being about three paces behind me whenever we go anywhere. I think he's checking out my ass.) You can't see it unless you are standing directly in front of it, but there is this crack in the rock, with a very rough and rugged trail leading through it, which effectively filters out fat old men (!!!!) We climbed. it was blessedly short, yet vertical. At the top, we passed a pair of exceedingly handsome shirtless youngmen, and my friend, promptly became one of the great shirtless. Todd spends a great deal of time at the gym, and I do not, thus the reason I remained fully clothed. Todd also dashed off into the bushes to go look at some dick. My sights were focused on something else, which I never expected.
Little beach is a cute, and quite secluded little time warp. On Little Beach, all who wish to be are magically transported to 1968, and that was the sight that greeted me at the top of that flow of lava. Picture if you will, an aging baby boomer man, grey hair maintained in some fashion by a red bandanna, standing in the surf with a guitar, bare ass naked. "His Chick" was frolicking in the water making some kind of fertility dance. I just had to stare for a while. Nudity doesn't bother me, it never has, really. I'm somewhat of an extrovert in that matter. I'm also prude enough to know when it is appropriate to remain clothed. This nude beach was an appropriate time.... I CHARGED across the short beach, and past all of the butt nekkid people sitting praying to the sun god (yes, they were) and through the several people who were deeply into the act of meditation. There were several attractive guys in shorts, and I looked at them instead. Something told me to go on, though, and so I did.
As abruptly as it begins, Little Beach ends with another flow of lava. This one is more flat and more easily navigated, and so I did, and was amply rewarded. The rocks became more broken up, and more unpassable as I continued, but as Mr. Frost sez, it was the road less travelled, and it made all the difference. I came across a spit of land, which was just amazing. There are only a few times when I've had the sensation that I was the first person to see a sight, and this was one of them. My perseverance was rewarded with a stunning view of a protected cove, violent waves trying to take it down. and millions of a tasty little shellfish called Opihi. In tidal pools, there were beautiful, large heads of coral that anyone could have just kicked off and taken home with them. I was there, all alone, and I loved it. I watched the sun set over Lanai (you can see the islands of Molokini, Kahoolawe, Lanai, and Molokai from this vantage) and rested a bit before heading back. I met T., who had not seen what he had wanted to see, but I was happy, for I had. :))
I've also been to Kinkos and played with their scanners there. Soon, dears, you will have pictures of Moi. So lucky? Time escapes me at present, so you'll have to wait a bit.
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