3.15.99
Some of you are doing your taxes. Others of us are mourning the loss of a really incredible talent in the theatrical world, Anthony Newley. Why does his passing sadden me? I simply adored his ballsy voice that has been variously described as having "...a vebrato that you can throw a football through." His great song, "What Kind of Fool am I" has been running through my mind all day. Sadness.
I'm back elevating my foot again, damn it. Last night, I had a sudden desire to create mushroom cutlets with Mornay sauce (Hey, you can slather dogfood with Mornay sauce and it will be good.) The down side of this particular meal is the huge amount of cutting that is required. I was just re arranging things on the kitchen table to begin, when the damn thing fell over the falls and landed quite squarely on my great toe. Once again, my foot is purple and throbbing.
It has not been a very pleasant year for my podiatric health.
I'm looking at my foot again...it's propped up on the corner of my desk as it was when I sprained the hell out of it last month. I wonder why it doesn't bend like the other one does...maybe I broke the fucker. It's really odd...when I flex my toe, it doesn't bend at the joint, rather a point more proximal...there's supposed to be a bone there, not a joint. Damn. There's not much that can be done for a metatarsal fracture, so I'll suffer like the good martyr.
RR Has been acting queerly recently, so like the old saying goes, "If Momma aint happy, aint nobody happy." How does he act? Nothing that I'd like to go into publicly, but there is the matter of a four-page memo that he presented when I came back from my five-day stint on Maui. There is a lot of truth in the words that he committed to paper for my/our benefit, and it also brought to light that we really don't have relationship talks. I have to admit that the communication level has always been a bit lacking in the last several years.
I don't know, though. Every time we sit down and have a "talk" about "us" I feel really awkward, and embarrassed for some reason. I don't really have a reason to feel like that, but I do. As there are really no great surprises in our relationship, there also should be no great gaps in our conversation, but they exist. This leads us to some interesting points.
Trust. I like to trust people, and it makes me REALLY crazy when I can't trust someone. I tend to really give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to trusting them. I think it makes this thing called life more bearable and easy. When I feel that I am not trusted, I'm irritated, and don't feel a great need to spend the hours with you. That happened a couple of days ago, when I had a day off, and was meeting a friend for lunch. RR had a preconceived thought that I was supposed to spend the entire day with him and nobody else. I on the other hand, wanted to be with a friend for a couple of hours. He made some catty comments like "I don't know when I'll see you again" and gave me an icy kiss good-bye. I was undaunted by his attitude, and left. As I was walking down the street in departure, he ran out the door and yelled, "Wait!" I returned to the garden gate. "I'm being a dick" What could I say? "Yes, you were." He apologized, and I went off to meet J. for our luncheon date. We had a pleasant repast and a long walk through Ala Moana Park.
That is one of the things that is creating disharmony in my life currently. Actually, it is a relatively minor thing, and not one that I would usually mention, but since it happened only 2 days ago, it seems noteworthy.
On a brighter note...Arion turns 18 tomorrow. Hau'oli la hanau! Finally, the boi in Washington is gonna be legal. Hope you get a lot of indecent prezzies from your future bf collection.....
Boy...I gotta re-do this thing. NetFusion is coming in the mail...soon! I am told that it will solve all of my web publishing nightmares. Maybe when I get a life....
I'm back elevating my foot again, damn it. Last night, I had a sudden desire to create mushroom cutlets with Mornay sauce (Hey, you can slather dogfood with Mornay sauce and it will be good.) The down side of this particular meal is the huge amount of cutting that is required. I was just re arranging things on the kitchen table to begin, when the damn thing fell over the falls and landed quite squarely on my great toe. Once again, my foot is purple and throbbing.
It has not been a very pleasant year for my podiatric health.
I'm looking at my foot again...it's propped up on the corner of my desk as it was when I sprained the hell out of it last month. I wonder why it doesn't bend like the other one does...maybe I broke the fucker. It's really odd...when I flex my toe, it doesn't bend at the joint, rather a point more proximal...there's supposed to be a bone there, not a joint. Damn. There's not much that can be done for a metatarsal fracture, so I'll suffer like the good martyr.
RR Has been acting queerly recently, so like the old saying goes, "If Momma aint happy, aint nobody happy." How does he act? Nothing that I'd like to go into publicly, but there is the matter of a four-page memo that he presented when I came back from my five-day stint on Maui. There is a lot of truth in the words that he committed to paper for my/our benefit, and it also brought to light that we really don't have relationship talks. I have to admit that the communication level has always been a bit lacking in the last several years.
I don't know, though. Every time we sit down and have a "talk" about "us" I feel really awkward, and embarrassed for some reason. I don't really have a reason to feel like that, but I do. As there are really no great surprises in our relationship, there also should be no great gaps in our conversation, but they exist. This leads us to some interesting points.
Trust. I like to trust people, and it makes me REALLY crazy when I can't trust someone. I tend to really give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to trusting them. I think it makes this thing called life more bearable and easy. When I feel that I am not trusted, I'm irritated, and don't feel a great need to spend the hours with you. That happened a couple of days ago, when I had a day off, and was meeting a friend for lunch. RR had a preconceived thought that I was supposed to spend the entire day with him and nobody else. I on the other hand, wanted to be with a friend for a couple of hours. He made some catty comments like "I don't know when I'll see you again" and gave me an icy kiss good-bye. I was undaunted by his attitude, and left. As I was walking down the street in departure, he ran out the door and yelled, "Wait!" I returned to the garden gate. "I'm being a dick" What could I say? "Yes, you were." He apologized, and I went off to meet J. for our luncheon date. We had a pleasant repast and a long walk through Ala Moana Park.
That is one of the things that is creating disharmony in my life currently. Actually, it is a relatively minor thing, and not one that I would usually mention, but since it happened only 2 days ago, it seems noteworthy.
On a brighter note...Arion turns 18 tomorrow. Hau'oli la hanau! Finally, the boi in Washington is gonna be legal. Hope you get a lot of indecent prezzies from your future bf collection.....
Boy...I gotta re-do this thing. NetFusion is coming in the mail...soon! I am told that it will solve all of my web publishing nightmares. Maybe when I get a life....
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