10.24.98

"My friends, My foes...what a lovely light it makes"
--Edna St. Vincent Millay

She said that a whole pile of years ago, recounting the virtues of burning the "candle at both ends." Quite so, I think.
I find it refreshing to know that people are reading this. To those who have sent your kind words of encouragement, I thank you. I have to tell you that it has been far more therapeutic than I could have ever imagined.

Let's talk about sunsets. Love 'em. A sunset is the defining moment of a day. No matter how shitty your work, your bf, your circumstances have been throughout the daylight hours, at the moment when twilight occurs, it is over. Light yields to dark; day to night.

I was being "barfing boy" today, so I missed the sunset. Oh, how I missed the sunset today. We were invited to sail at 5 in the evening, RR, myself, and a friend from Hilo who flew over especially for the occasion. I thought it unwise to go out, being racked with nausea. I'm not sure if it was from being on an unstable vehicle for the better part of the day (which does tend to make me seasick,) or perhaps a bad bento. RR accused me of being antisocial (which is true. I don't particularly enjoy social events.) but the truth was I did want to go, I thought it unwise to go to the sea nauseous. I've never been seasick, and don't intend to live the sensation.

So, I missed the sunset on an otherwise beautiful day, on a beautiful yacht owned by one of our local bon vivants. I stayed at home and vomited. Uck.

But the point is, a sunset is such a grand and glorious thing. The sky ablaze with so many colors, reflecting off the clouds across the sky, even to the point sometimes of making the "reverse sunset" opposing the sun itself more dramatic than the acual event.

Living in a place surrounded by water also lends a unique phenomenon--I can watch the sun blaze out of the ocean in the morning and wath it plunge 12 hours later, having travelled a mere 16 miles in the effort. Play your cards right, and you can see the whole damn thing with a mere adjustment of your chair. There is a fabulous and rare thing which occurs at the exact momenbt when the sun dips down beneath the sea's horizon. It's called green flash, and that's what it is .... a flash of green. It is some kind of reflection of the sun on the ocean with all of the fish shit floating in it. It's fab, nontheless, and a truly rare thing. With all of the sunsets I've seen, I have only experienced two of them. Ironically, both times I've seen green flashes, I've been on the Big Island. Whaddya suppose that means?

RR and the friend from the Big Island have just returned and are telling of their adventure. I'm now even more mauseous, because it sounds like the trip of a lifetime. An eclectic group of people, combined with a 1920's vintage boat on glassy water. Crescent moon over Diamond Head. Can't you hear the ukelele in the background? Maybe even a bare breasted maiden or two.

I stayed home and unswallowed.

A good thing came of it, though *unsolicited advertisement* Watched two programs on braoadcast TV: Fantasy Island, which you should see because it pays the bills around here right now, and Cupid, which you should watch because it's good. The story of a delusional schizophrenic and his shrink. I guess every week, the handsome trendoid hero creates romance and love where it ordinarially would not exist (thus the Cupid entity) and his psychaitatrist saves him from a lifetime of clozapine. It's a "thing that makes you go Hmmm."