1.8.99
The allergy that has plagued me for the last week continues, dishing out the sputum faster than I can blow. Now, I have a nifty bottle of antihistamines to make my head float three inches above my neck. Pardon me if this seems disjointed, I don't tolerate Hismanol particularly well, I fear.
Solid stone is just sand and water and a million years gone by. I don't know who was the fool who came up with that one, but it has become my mantra for the moment. I'm thinking about a myriad of things at the moment, and nothing is clear. Possibly, this is due to the meds, but I think it is because I am just indecisive. I need to shit or get off the pot. What am I being indecisive over? If you know me fairly well, you know already, so it does not bear repeating.
If you don't know what I'm talking about, and you have been reading this, you should talk to me. I don't bite hard, and I'll talk to just about anybody on ICQ or in the chat rooms. Really. Last night I was droning on about my sex life after just a few minutes of idle chit-chat to someone whom I had never met.
But that's not what I'm concerned with. Decisions as to this next year have to come from within. My brain is racing like Noel Coward singing "I've been to marvelous party!" (It was in the fresh air, and we went as we were, and we stayed as we were, which was hell.)
But you know what? I'm just not in the mood to do anything. Motivation has flown out the window today. The morning got off to a bad start with RR yelling at me about things that I did not do, but merely suggested. He's stressed, and in my most humble opinion, is not coping with it well.
eh. Why do I put up with it? I have my reasons, but I can't keep thinking that all is well.
It's not. Far from it.
and that's all I want to say about it right now. I gotta think, gotta live, gotta dream (something that I've not done for a while.)
Dysfunction breeds contempt. Aint that a dark thought?
Solid stone is just sand and water and a million years gone by. I don't know who was the fool who came up with that one, but it has become my mantra for the moment. I'm thinking about a myriad of things at the moment, and nothing is clear. Possibly, this is due to the meds, but I think it is because I am just indecisive. I need to shit or get off the pot. What am I being indecisive over? If you know me fairly well, you know already, so it does not bear repeating.
If you don't know what I'm talking about, and you have been reading this, you should talk to me. I don't bite hard, and I'll talk to just about anybody on ICQ or in the chat rooms. Really. Last night I was droning on about my sex life after just a few minutes of idle chit-chat to someone whom I had never met.
But that's not what I'm concerned with. Decisions as to this next year have to come from within. My brain is racing like Noel Coward singing "I've been to marvelous party!" (It was in the fresh air, and we went as we were, and we stayed as we were, which was hell.)
But you know what? I'm just not in the mood to do anything. Motivation has flown out the window today. The morning got off to a bad start with RR yelling at me about things that I did not do, but merely suggested. He's stressed, and in my most humble opinion, is not coping with it well.
eh. Why do I put up with it? I have my reasons, but I can't keep thinking that all is well.
It's not. Far from it.
and that's all I want to say about it right now. I gotta think, gotta live, gotta dream (something that I've not done for a while.)
Dysfunction breeds contempt. Aint that a dark thought?
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